8OCtlDPSIdhjDVqWrdT0R2HzGL8 The Lights Are On, But No One's Homer!

Friday, 28 November 2014

A little moan about weight loss

Firstly I am very proud of myself let me make that bit clear, I have recently lost 2 stone in weight and feel a hell of a lot better about myself, I've turned into a little bit of a fitness freak and spend most weekends "running"* a good 10 miles at a time, something that I never envisioned doing when I was a fat chubster at school, choosing to avoid PE at all costs in exchange for a walk to the local bakery for pies, butties and cakes ( mmmm cake ) for my dinner.

However, when I was heavier, I had a cracking set of boobs, and plenty of junk in my trunk, so my moan is all about losing my assets.

Firstly where have my tits gone? My once pretty underwear used to show them off to their full potential and now my bras are half empty with saggy boobs cowering away in them. Yes I know I can buy new underwear but that's not the point. I hadn't long bought new matching bra and knickers and by god I want to get my monies worth out them.
Then there's my arse, or rather, there isn't my arse, it's gone, my jeans just hang off the bottom of my back, only held in place with a worn out belt with so many added notches to it I'm surprised it can still call itself a belt! And don't get me started on the rest of my wardrobe. Nothing fits right, jumpers are too baggy, dresses drown me, even my shoes are too bloody big,

The added irony is that I still have a bit more to lose, so what's a girl to do? Until I have achieved my goal - I could just spend my day living in onesies right???

I don't mind wearing them at night to keep warm, or even during the day when it's fancy dress, but I don't think even I'm mad enough to wear them just for the fun of it**

So I guess I'm just going to have to behave myself and hope that Santa brings me a new wardrobe for Xmas, though if all else fails, I'm sure the amount of food consumed on Christmas Day will make at least one item of clothing fit again!

*I run until I get injured which happens quite often, then I shuffle along at a quickened pace until I cave in and walk the rest of the way!

**well maybe just a little bit!

Thursday, 13 November 2014

Little Miss Muffet - alternative verses for kids!

So Squiggle came home today singing Little Miss Muffet, and of course he asked what curds and whey were, being the very intelligent mother that I am, I told him it was something to do with cheese. After a quick look on t'internet I found out that it was similar to cottage cheese.
Squiggle asked why didn't the song just say she was eating cheese. I said then it wouldn't rhyme.

Cue a long list of different versions of Little Miss Muffet. These had Squiggle in stitches and I'd like to share them with you!

Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet
eating a bowl of cheese,
Along came a spider and sat down beside her
and started to tickle her knees!

Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet
eating a loaf of bread,
Along came a spider he crawled up beside her
and started to dance on her head!

Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet
eating something yum,
Along came a spider and sat down beside her
and started to pinch her bum!

Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet
eating a piece of toast,
Along came a spider and sat down beside her
and said eurgh you've got a bogey up your nose!

Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet
eating a bowl of jelly,
Along came a spider and sat down beside her
and said goodness gracious me, you've got a big belly!

Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet
eating a joint of meat
Along came a spider and sat down beside her
and said phew, you've got smelly feet!

*Thanks to mycutegraphics.com for the images

Wednesday, 22 October 2014

Just a quick update!

Hello to all my friendly readers,

As you may have noticed my posts have been a tiny bit sporadic over the course of the past 2 months. I have been dealing with a few issues in my personal life which I'm not ready to discuss at the moment but may do at a later point in time.

So rather than dwell on the issues I'm going to focus on the positives in my life at the moment.

1. Squiggle has settled into primary school now and despite the initial teething problems, he is turning out to be a well educated and polite young man.

2. Since the beginning of August, I have lost 27lbs in weight and am still running every chance I get - this is a vast difference from the girl who used to shun P.E. at school!!

3. I am finally getting my garden landscaped, new fence, new patio and new gates, and although it's coming up to Winter, I cannot wait to sit out there and enjoy the view with a glass of wine!

4. I started to decorate the living room in March, by decorate I mean strip the walls, well I have now lined the walls and am ready to start wallpapering, so I might be ready for Xmas!

5. Last week I finally got the golden ticket in TV audience recordings - yes, I got to go and see A Question of Sport being recorded, I was sat supporting Tuffers team, sadly not behind him so not sure if I will make the edited episode but it was great fun to watch, took just over 2 hours to record with no retakes!

How are you all doing?

Thursday, 25 September 2014

Tips for applying for primary school

After my considerable mess up with getting Squiggle into a primary school, I thought I would share my experience and give other parents tips to help them stand a better chance of getting into a school of their choice.

By law, children must be in school from the first term after their fifth birthday, but the majority of schools take children who turn five in the school year to start in September when they are still four.
Different counties may open their applications on different days, so check your local council website for information, but for all primary school applications the closing date is 15 th January.

The admission criteria for each school is different but some schools give preference to those;
  • who have a brother or sister at the school already
  • who live close to the school
  • from a particular religion (for faith schools)
  • who do well in an entrance exam (for selective schools, eg grammar schools or stage schools)
  • in care or being looked after (all schools must have this as a top priority)
So my words of wisdom are:

Apply on time, I cannot stress the importance of this. Many schools will not consider late applications at all. So check your local county government website for application dates. Some councils advertise in the local press or at libraries,  and good nurseries may give you the information, I missed the deadline because I was in hospital at the time, and even this couldn't be taken into consideration.

If you wish for your child to attend a faith school, such as Church of England or Roman Catholic, you must make sure you attend church on a regular basis, most will accept a minimum attendance of once a month. It is the parents who have to attend, not the child. Also Roman Catholic schools give preference to Catholic baptised children over Church of England christened children.

Put your child's name down on the waiting list, this doesn't mean they will be given any preference over any other child, but it shows that you are interested in your child attending that school. If any children decline their places then the schools will use the waiting list to offer out spare places. This is what finally got my son a place at the school we wanted.

If you don't get the place you initially wanted then you can always appeal. An independent panel will hear your case and decide if there are grounds for appeal such as a incorrect procedure being followed and make a decision for you.

Try not to despair, remember there are 20 weeks between receiving your place offer and the first day of school. Things can change during that time and even for a short time afterwards. The schools waiting lists don't tend to get disbanded until the Christmas holidays so there is always a chance that pupils will leave school and move around as their parents do.

I am happy to report that despite my cock up, Squiggle did eventually get into a different school of choice, and is currently loving every minute of it.

Saturday, 30 August 2014

Uh oh, they're at it again!! ( A.K.A Kids say the funniest things part 4 )

The more I share my funny stories with friends the more I get told about their children, so here is a little collection of anecdotes from friends, feel free to add your own funny stories in the comment box and they might make the next edition!!!

Firstly Squiggle has been using his initiative. We went out the other day and had set off down the street. When we got to the bottom of the hill he asked if the big building with lots of windows was a hotel. I told him it was an old peoples home and explained that when people got old and needed looking after they would sometimes move to an old peoples home. "Hmmm" said Squiggle his mind clearly thinking about this, "Shouldn't daddy live there now - he's old"!!!!

Last month Squiggle had gone shopping with my auntie and grandma, whilst at the checkout he exclaimed that he needed the toilet and set off. My grandma followed him and saw him talking to a member of staff at the toilet door. What are you doing? they asked - "Going to the toilet" he replied. "Where's your daddy?" - "He's at work", "Where's your mummy?" - "Oh she's at home in bed!!!" - Please bear in mind this was at dinner time, and believe me I was up - honestly!!!

Next a friend of mine was telling me about how her 4 year daughter had caught sight of her in the bath and had innocently asked "Mummy why do your boobies point down and mine point up? will mine go like that when I'm older?"

Thanks to Kelly for this one.
Evie says the funniest things. Latest is that as you know she's a little blondie and I have dark hair, I said to her that when she gets older she may well go dark and look more like me to which she replied 'I'm not being racist but I really don't like dark hair, I'm staying blonde'  She once said 'Mom you know those people who don't eat meat, what are they called, lesbitarions? Well I'm not one of them as I like chicken nuggets' I couldn't stop laughing xxx

Thanks to Nancy for this one
My son Aaron told me that the titanic was sunk by an ice cube and he also says he is handbdextrous not ambidextrous ( as in both handed).

Thanks to Josie for this one
Molly said to me on way to playgroup on Friday in the car grandma look I've got 4 fingers up I said I can't look I'm driving I've got to keep my eyes on the road, she said grandma your eyes don't go on the road they stay in your head you mean you have to look at the road!! Well that put me straight didn't it!

Kerrie over at Wife Mum Student Bum had this to say:
Alice (2) said yesterday "Mummy you have a big tummy don't you...have you got a baby in there?" Cheeky bugger x

Emma at Emma's Little World
We were in Devon last week on holiday on and went crabbing. When we got one Ben put it into the bucket and said, he jumped in quickly cos he thought it was the proper sea!! And it wasn't the proper sea, it was my sea in the bucket!!

Thanks to Tim for this one:
On a drive to our local Tesco and whilst stuck behind an elderly couple... I may have muttered something along the lines of "bloody old people, get a move on". During the same trip to Tesco, whilst doing our shop. A lovely elderly couple were cooing over the boys, when our Callum chirps up with the line "bloody old people, get a move on". I nearly dropped through the floor with embarrassment.

Thanks to everybody for their input, please feel free to add your own stories via the comment box, on my Facebook page or email me. I look forward to hearing what your little one's have been saying!