8OCtlDPSIdhjDVqWrdT0R2HzGL8 The Lights Are On, But No One's Homer!

Saturday, 30 August 2014

Uh oh, they're at it again!! ( A.K.A Kids say the funniest things part 4 )

The more I share my funny stories with friends the more I get told about their children, so here is a little collection of anecdotes from friends, feel free to add your own funny stories in the comment box and they might make the next edition!!!

Firstly Squiggle has been using his initiative. We went out the other day and had set off down the street. When we got to the bottom of the hill he asked if the big building with lots of windows was a hotel. I told him it was an old peoples home and explained that when people got old and needed looking after they would sometimes move to an old peoples home. "Hmmm" said Squiggle his mind clearly thinking about this, "Shouldn't daddy live there now - he's old"!!!!

Last month Squiggle had gone shopping with my auntie and grandma, whilst at the checkout he exclaimed that he needed the toilet and set off. My grandma followed him and saw him talking to a member of staff at the toilet door. What are you doing? they asked - "Going to the toilet" he replied. "Where's your daddy?" - "He's at work", "Where's your mummy?" - "Oh she's at home in bed!!!" - Please bear in mind this was at dinner time, and believe me I was up - honestly!!!

Next a friend of mine was telling me about how her 4 year daughter had caught sight of her in the bath and had innocently asked "Mummy why do your boobies point down and mine point up? will mine go like that when I'm older?"

Thanks to Kelly for this one.
Evie says the funniest things. Latest is that as you know she's a little blondie and I have dark hair, I said to her that when she gets older she may well go dark and look more like me to which she replied 'I'm not being racist but I really don't like dark hair, I'm staying blonde'  She once said 'Mom you know those people who don't eat meat, what are they called, lesbitarions? Well I'm not one of them as I like chicken nuggets' I couldn't stop laughing xxx

Thanks to Nancy for this one
My son Aaron told me that the titanic was sunk by an ice cube and he also says he is handbdextrous not ambidextrous ( as in both handed).

Thanks to Josie for this one
Molly said to me on way to playgroup on Friday in the car grandma look I've got 4 fingers up I said I can't look I'm driving I've got to keep my eyes on the road, she said grandma your eyes don't go on the road they stay in your head you mean you have to look at the road!! Well that put me straight didn't it!

Kerrie over at Wife Mum Student Bum had this to say:
Alice (2) said yesterday "Mummy you have a big tummy don't you...have you got a baby in there?" Cheeky bugger x

Emma at Emma's Little World
We were in Devon last week on holiday on and went crabbing. When we got one Ben put it into the bucket and said, he jumped in quickly cos he thought it was the proper sea!! And it wasn't the proper sea, it was my sea in the bucket!!

Thanks to Tim for this one:
On a drive to our local Tesco and whilst stuck behind an elderly couple... I may have muttered something along the lines of "bloody old people, get a move on". During the same trip to Tesco, whilst doing our shop. A lovely elderly couple were cooing over the boys, when our Callum chirps up with the line "bloody old people, get a move on". I nearly dropped through the floor with embarrassment.

Thanks to everybody for their input, please feel free to add your own stories via the comment box, on my Facebook page or email me. I look forward to hearing what your little one's have been saying!

Monday, 25 August 2014

Thank you to a not so stranger.

Up until 4 years ago, I was fat, I was fat and happy, I was fat, happy and had a bubbly personality. I stood tall, stuck my boobs out, sucked my stomach in ( as best I could ) and walked with an air of confidence about me.
I was half the woman I used to be!
Then I became pregnant, had a traumatic birth, contracted pancreatitis, lost over 10 stone in weight, became a walking skeleton and lost all my hair. That confident girl disappeared and in return I was left a shy, quiet and miserable shadow. I couldn't walk tall, in fact it hurt to hold my head up, my body was so weak it couldn't support my head, so I walked huddled over like a little old lady, not daring to look anybody in the eye.

I became jealous of my friends perfect bodies, well they were perfect in my eyes, they didn't bare the scars I had, their tummies looked normal, they could leave the house and go and do and eat whatever they wanted without fear of being ill in public.

Slowly but surely I got a little bit better, my hair started to grow back, I gained weight and was able to walk a little taller. I started wearing make-up again, although I still have the scars I learnt to dress myself in ways that hid my imperfections, my personality slowly made a comeback and although that daft grin of mine reappeared it still masked so many sad feelings. I no longer felt attractive, and no amount of make-up was ever going to change that.

My husband has never once said I looked pretty or nice, not even on our wedding day, well earlier this year I attended a couple of weddings, and made the effort to look nice, bought a new dress and yet still got nothing from him. However, I did get quite a few compliments from my family and other people, some of the  people were strangers to me but knew of me through my mum and grandma, but there was that one compliment from someone who I only really knew in passing to say hello to and hadn't spoken to much before now, but for whatever reason, they were the one who made me blush and made my day and slowly made me realise that I have come such a long way and it's nice to know that somebody out there thinks I am pretty good looking.

So I'd like to take this moment to thank that person, ever since that day I've walked a little taller, had a little more spring in my step, and smiled a little brighter. I've started to socialise a lot more with friends and I've even made some new friends. My outlook on life is now a lot more positive than it was

Thursday, 21 August 2014

Eureka! & Little Live Pets

We were invited to the children's museum Eureka! in Halifax on Saturday to be part of the launch of the Little Live Pets.

Little Live Pets come in a range of beautiful butterflies and birds and there are 6 of each to collect. When stroked, the birds chirp and tweet, plus they have a record feature which allows you to record yourself for about 10 seconds and they will repeat and mimic you. The butterflies are quite lifelike and will sit in the palm of your hand fluttering their wings.

The Little Live Birds are £9.99 RRP on their own or you can buy a birdcage for £19.99 which includes a special edition bird. The Little Live Butterflies are £12.99 on their own or £22.99 for a butterfly house, again with a special edition butterfly included.

All the children at Eureka! were quite taken with both the birds and the butterflies, but Squiggle and I really loved the budgies, the green one in particular reminded me of Joey, my budgie, when I was younger. Squiggle thought they were just ace, and best of all they won't make a mess in the house ( or be looked at like dinner by the cat!! )

Afterwards we were allowed to explore Eureka!, despite it having been open for the last 22 years, I have never been, what have I missed out on. I turned into a child myself and ran around and interacted with Squiggle and the other kids. I thought it was ace!

Part of the museum is set out like a town, with a bank, a shop, a post office and a garage with petrol station and workshop.

Our first port of call was of course to the bank, where we quickly printed our own Eureka! money to play with and attempt to bypass the security system and break into the vault!

Ever wanted to sit on £1,000,000

Then with our ill gotten gains we went and played in the shop. Squiggle decided that he was going to charge £9999 for a loaf of bread and milk, despite what the till said. I think he will go far in economics when he is older!

Next we popped into the garage and helped to fill a car up with petrol. There is a replica petrol pump which the children can put into the car and the dial goes up as thought hey are filling it. I was quite impressed that petrol was only 50p a litre and will be taking my car there in the future! There was also a nice bed of tyres, for those "tyred and exhausted parents" to take a quick nap on!!

Finally we called in at the post office and Squiggle tried his hand at being a postman, delivering parcels and letters to the various doors. Even though his uniform drowned him I think he quite suits it!

After the town, we moved into the house and went through all the rooms, the kitchen, the living room, the bedrooms and the bathroom and learnt how things work. Squiggle loved the bathroom and spent ages switching the shower on and off and flushing the see through toilet, just to watch it fill up and flush it again!

Upstairs in the museum is the 'All About Me' area where we learnt about the human body. Before we began our journey we picked up a passport and then took part in various activities to learn more about Squiggle. We measured how tall he was, how far he could stretch, how far his stride was, how much he weighed and a lot more. It's a good idea because if you have the Eureka annual pass you can compare just how fast your child is growing up between each visit.

We finished the day by visiting the Soundspace area and spent a lot of time making a lot of noise!

Eureka! is aimed at children 0-11, the ticket prices are FREE for under 1's, £4.25 for children aged 1-2 and£11.95 for everybody else, but if you take your ticket to the annual pass booth you can upgrade to an annual pass and return as many times as you want for the rest of the year.

I'd like to thank Little Live Pets and Eureka! for inviting us to a great day out.

*Disclaimer: I was invited to the Little Live Pets launch and received free entry to Eureka! for the purpose of writing this post, but all views, opinions and photos are my own.

Saturday, 16 August 2014

Innuendo Bingo or Cake, Anyone?

I've taken to having the odd dabble at bingo on a Tuesday night, but alas my luck hasn't turned up to win me a cash prize. However today I have won giggles and embarrassment whilst unwittingly playing innuendo bingo. A friend hinted she would like a cake for her birthday, she had seen a minion from Despicable me, dressed in pink dungarees and a tutu, so I said I wouldn't mind having a go at making it for her.

This is what she wants! - I have not made this.

My first problem was I needed a small tin, so whilst looking for a cake tin, I was offered an 8 inch but said I would be happy with just a 4 inch, cue stunned silence followed by sudden realisation of what was said.


I did manage to find a small enough cake tin but was worried that she would be disappointed as it wouldn't be as grand as the one she'd seen, so I was about to text my friend and ask if she would be happy with a 6" 1 eyed minion, but had to stop myself because the tears had started to roll down my face!

This was all done before teatime, and without the influence of alcohol, who knows what I'm going to be like later!!!