8OCtlDPSIdhjDVqWrdT0R2HzGL8 The Lights Are On, But No One's Homer!

Thursday, 25 June 2015

Dear Me, I'm sorry

I read this post that a fellow blogger Steph at Tub on the Run wrote last month apologising for not looking after herself properly and felt inspired to write my own after standing on the scales this morning and feeling my heart fall out of the bottom of feet with disappointment.


Dear Me,

I'm so sorry for what I have put you through these last few months. Last year we did really well, we cut down eating crap and started exercising. Every weekend we would go out jogging and even though it was hard in the beginning we were soon running 10 - 13 miles every Saturday and Sunday morning. We might have had a few scrapes, falls and pulled muscles but we did enjoy it.

We also cut down eating crap and within a few moths we'd lost 2 and a half stone and looked and felt fantastic. Yes I had taken up smoking but I was under a lot of stress with the separation.
Now nearly 12 months on and I haven't been kind to you. I no longer go running, the healthy eating has stopped and I'm still smoking. Thankfully I don't drink a lot of alcohol but I do have a nasty Coke habit -  ( Coca-Cola  the fizzy drink not the other type of coke!). The last few weeks for some reason I have found it perfectly acceptable to stuff all kinds of crap food into you despite you telling me that you don't want or can't have any more. You have been screaming at me to stop but I've been like some mad possessed woman hell bent on cramming in as much as I could. 

I stood on the scales this morning, I knew what the outcome was going to be due to the fact that most of my clothes don't fit me anymore, remember all those pretty things we bought last year?, the nice dresses, the smaller sized jeans and the cute tops? well they don't fit very well at the moment, so this is having a knock on effect on your mental state, my self indulgence is now making you feel down in the dumps, I am truly sorry for doing this to you.
Well today was the last straw, the shock of standing on the scales and the horror of not even fitting into my fat jeans has motivated me to do something about it.

So body, mind and soul be prepared for a few tough months as we kick things back into touch. It's going to be hard cutting down on the sugar and fat and takeaways but it needs to be done. So today is day one, the fitness apps will be reopened on my phone, the Vivofit will be dusted off and used to track my daily steps and we will be calorie counting again!

I promise that I will look after you this time, and once again I'm sorry.

Love me.
x




Friday, 15 May 2015

Psoriatic Arthritis

Well readers as you may have noticed my posts have been few and far between lately and it's all because of my poriasis playing up. You see not only do I have to contend with looking like a scaly dragon when it's bad but a few years ago I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis and I've been in a heck of a lot of pain lately as it mainly affects my elbows, hands and fingers, hence it's very painful to type anything. In fact its very painful to do a lot of things I've taken for granted, like holding a pen and using cutlery.

My fingers are swollen at the moment which means I've had to take off my rings as I don't want to cut the circulation off, my elbows hurt so I struggled getting out of bed this morning, getting myself dressed was painful enough but then I also had to help Squiggle. Thank goodness there's not too many buttons on his school uniform, I don't know how I'd have fastened them up this morning.

I've never had it this bad before, even in the depths of a cold dark winter I've been able to cope but for some reason this year I'm suffering.

So what's the difference between Psoriatic Arthritis and Rheumatoid Arthritis?

Not much really so it can be quite hard to diagnose especially if there is no outbreak of psoriasis on the skin.
The main difference is that rheumatoid arthritis follows a symmetrical pattern meaning that both sides of the body are affected at the same time, whereas psoriatic arthritis is asymmetrical so joints on one side of the body can be affected and not the other side, but like arthritis it can affect any joint.



As usual my skin has flared up over the winter so I'm currently having to cover up - which is good because it's so blooming cold so I'm still rocking jumpers and jeans although I have worn a dress once in last few months because the sun did come out and I didn't want to miss my chance! Unfortunately my dermatology appointment has been put back another month so I won't be seeing the consultant till July now and I need to see him to get referred to the pain clinic. Might have to make a few phone calls and see if I can get in sooner.

Well I've probably done enough typing as my fingers are hurting again, so I'm off to find some Ibuprofen, take care everyone.

Tuesday, 14 April 2015

Flat chested and arse clapping a.k.a starting to run again!

The sun is shining which means only one thing, time to ditch the winter woollies and get the summer clothes out, cue mad dash for fake tan to cover up the corned beef legs, positive attitude towards endless weeks of dieting and living off lettuce leaves and making an attempt to get back into running again.

Firstly I'm glad to say most of my running clothes still fit in a way, despite the 20lb weight gain since New Years Day! ( it was a shock to me too! ) The trainers have still got a few good miles left in them and I'm now armed with a Garmin Vivofit and a new phone which won't die on me mid run.
However the bra is a little constricting, the T-shirt fits a bit more snug and I won't even say what's going on with the lyrca leggings ( ok you asked for it - camel toe and butt munchers anyone??? )

Being a curvy girl I have always had problems with bouncing body parts, mainly boobs, bum and tum. So tonight I have strapped myself in, I look very flat chested but safe in the knowledge I will survive without getting 2 black eyes, my tummy is slightly held in but my arse is free to wobble about behind me..... which made me think of this.



Hopefully all that clapping will spur me on in the right direction as will my new running partner. A friend of mine has decided to join me, it will be interesting to see how we get on, mainly because she is healthier, thinner and lighter than me so can no doubt run faster and further, but it might just be what I need.

We were going to join our local running track because they are doing the NHS couch to 5K but sadly we aren't always free on the days they hold the sessions, so instead we are just going to jog along the canal, round the park and anywhere else that takes our fancy.

So here I go, I'll let you know how we get on.

Ta ta for now.

Saturday, 28 March 2015

40 things to do before I am 40!

Well I turned 36 this week, where the hell did my life go?

There is so much I have already achieved but then again there is so much more that I want to do.
So I thought a slight kick up the backside might get me going and what better way than to tell the world what I want to do, I'm going to have to do it then, right?

So I thought I'd make a start on my bucket list, and jot down a few ideas of what I want to do with the rest of my life.
I thought it was going to be easy to start with but then I found I ran out of ideas, so I'll make a start with what I've thought of and just add to it if anything else takes my fancy.
  1. Learn to play the guitar
  2. Learn to sew properly
  3. Go on the Russian Vodka Train
  4. Return to Mexico
  5. Go to Disney World
  6. Take my son to Disneyland Paris
  7. Go to a Music Festival
  8. Run an official 10km race
  9. Run a half marathon
  10. Run a marathon
  11. See Phantom of The Opera
  12. See Cats ( again )
  13. See Wicked
  14. See Barnum
  15. See the Northern Lights
  16. Eat at a Michelin Star restaurant
  17. Ride the Orient Express
  18. Go skiing or snowboarding
  19. Spend Christmas somewhere hot
  20. Spend Christmas somewhere snowy
  21. Spend the night in a haunted house
  22. Go on a Zombie Run
  23. Spend a weekend in London
  24. Own a personalised car registration plate
  25. Go to Las Vegas ( although I suspect this will be carried over in the future onto my 50 things to do before 50 list!)
  26. Go to London for a weekend
  27. Maybe have another baby!
Have you got a bucket list? 
What would you most like to do before your next milestone birthday?
Let me know in the comments


Wednesday, 25 March 2015

Another Year Older!

So here I am again -  another year older, and it's quite debatable if I am slightly wiser or not.

Where have the past few years gone? Well thanks to my Timehop app on my phone I know exactly what's been happening over the last 6 years!

6 years ago I turned 30, I stopped smoking and was concentrating on trying to start a family.

5 years ago I was 7 months pregnant with Squiggle, and feeling quite ill around the time of my birthday - who knew what was going to happen a week later!

4 years ago I was still recovering from Squiggle's traumatic birth and my acute pancreatitis, but at least I was back home and not still in the hospital.

3 years ago I had a day out shopping with Squiggle and my sister in law, I'd been driving again for just a few months, and although I was still tired and ill, I was now managing to get out of the house on my own and with friends.

2 years ago I was snowed in, and I mean it literally, I couldn't open my back door and there was nearly a 3 foot snow drift at the front. My friends helped cheer me up with their Birthday Mission.

1 year ago I spent the whole day arguing with the husband - enough said.

This year, I finally had a night out to celebrate, it's been a long time coming and I certainly celebrated it in style, with my best friend. ( and when I say style I mean slumming it in the local pubs, but it's still a style of some sorts! )

I had some lovely cards and gifts from my friends and family and I can definitely say without a shadow of a doubt it has been the best birthday in a very long time.

And to top it off, Andi Peters wished me a happy birthday again this year!